There’s something profoundly broken in how men view women today—and it didn’t happen by accident.
From a young age, boys are bombarded with sexualized images of the female body at a scale never before seen in human history. Algorithms push it. Culture glorifies it. But at the same time, those same boys are told that the natural attraction they feel is something to be ashamed of. They’re taught that their desire is toxic. That their masculinity is dangerous. That to simply notice the beauty of a woman is a sign of weakness or corruption.
It’s no wonder so many young men are struggling. Their minds are being pulled in opposite directions—torn between desire and shame, instinct and guilt—and many are breaking under the weight of it. It’s a social experiment gone terribly wrong.
- The Crisis of the Male Mind
At one extreme, this constant exposure desensitizes boys. They begin to see women as objects—images on a screen rather than souls to relate to. Apathy replaces intimacy. At the other extreme, some spiral deeper into fantasy—craving ever more distorted versions of desire in an attempt to satisfy something that can never be fulfilled through pixels and scrolling.
In both cases, young men are retreating into unreality: either disconnected from female companionship or addicted to digital counterfeits of it. This often leads to porn addiction, isolation, and disillusionment.
Scripture warns of this kind of slavery to lust: “For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world” (1 John 2:16). This isn’t just a sin issue. It’s an identity crisis. It’s the unraveling of what it means to be a man made in God’s image.
- Why Men Are Looking for Leaders
The vacuum of manly leadership has left a generation of young men starving for direction. That hunger is clear in the rise of voices like Jordan Peterson and Andrew Tate. Both recognize the crisis, and both are attracting millions. But their messages couldn’t be more different.
Peterson calls men to take responsibility. To clean up their lives. To grow. Tate, by contrast, often plays into the fantasies of a young boy’s version of manhood—offering a cartoonish alpha male persona that treats women as prizes rather than partners.
It’s a shallow imitation of strength. Boys must grow into men. And men must learn to see women not through the lens of fantasy, but through the eyes of God: “When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things” (1 Corinthians 13:11).
- God’s Design for Men and Women
From the beginning, God’s design was for man and woman to unite—not just physically, but in purpose and spirit. In Genesis, we read: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).
This unity isn’t built on domination or shallow pleasure. It’s built on a covenant of sacrificial love. On a man laying down his life—not to control, but to lead as Christ leads:
“25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her…27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, . . . 28So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church” (Ephesians 5:25, 27-29).
Jesus Christ doesn’t lead with force. He leads with love, with patience, and with purpose. That’s the model of true masculinity.
A godly man leads, not as an image-obsessed dictator, but as a servant. He provides direction, not domination. And when he sees a woman, he doesn’t just see beauty—he sees purpose. He sees God’s handiwork: “Likewise, you husbands, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life” (1 Peter 3:7).
- Restoring the Vision
This world has so thoroughly twisted the image of the male-female relationship, of marriage and manhood, that the real thing now feels foreign. But God’s way still stands. It’s not outdated—it’s eternal.
Marriage was designed to be a dynamic relationship where a man leads by example, and a woman grows under his care. Both sacrificing. Both serving. Both supporting. It’s not about domination or submission in the world’s terms—it’s about unity and building up under God’s design.
Young men need to hear this. They need to know that their desire is not a curse—but a calling. That they were made for more than fantasy. Their strength is not to be used for conquest—but for sacrifice. And that their masculinity is not toxic—it is God-given, when shaped by the fruits of the Spirit: “… the fruit of the Spirit is love (agape), joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law” (Galatians 5:22–23).
Godly masculinity centers on leading with humility and selflessness, modeled after Jesus’ example of serving others. It’s about guiding a family or community with wisdom and sacrifice, not dominance. Physical or emotional strength is to be tempered with compassion and patience. It’s the ability to protect and provide while showing kindness and understanding, and avoiding harshness.
Ryan Welsh