God instituted marriage and the family for procreation to teach us about how He lives. He wants mankind to know what motivates Him, what His purpose is for mankind, and how His nature and character developed in human beings would give families peaceful relationships. If mankind functioned in marriage the way God intended, this world would be a vastly different place. The dysfunctional families that are increasingly the norm would seldom exist. However today we see the removal of any spiritual basis of marriage and the family in the world. Relationships are often reduced to satisfying physical and emotional needs to the point that individual desires set aside the marriage commitment as designed by God.
The Bible first mentions the concept of marriage in Genesis 2:21-24: “And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. And Adam said: ‘This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.’ Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
From creation, God intended man and woman to live together as one unit. He looks at them as two joined as one. However, this worldâs intoxication with individualism is quickly shedding this definition and is accelerating at breakneck speed in the “cancel” society we are in. Antagonism and violence within marriages is rising exponentially. This breakdown of marriages is a root cause of civil unrest and division and the basis of the eventual downfall of countries that dispose of the moral obligations God places within the marriage covenant. To avoid this destruction in our marriages and families, we need to focus on how to strengthen them.
Letâs begin by looking at the subject of devotion. We should think of devotion as something or someone that we have our heart set on that is a driving force of our life. There is something or someone which inspires us to get out of bed every day. That something or someone is one of our highest priorities to which we give our energies whenever and wherever possible. If we’re devoted to someone and we feel that somethingâs awry, weâre moved to fix it. This implies that devotion to our marriages needs to be leveraged. Those not married, realize that you are nevertheless a member of a family and by applying your devotion to your family you and they can be strengthened when needed.
Devotion to God and to our marriage and family are synonymous. They reflect each other. Devotion to God leads to devotion to spouses and children. Our devotion is the measure of our love and dedication to God. Unfaithfulness means something else comes ahead of God. If we allow something to come between us and God, then devotion to our marriage and family is diminished. If weâre not devoted to God, weâre unfaithful to Him. If weâre not devoted to our spouse and family, weâre unfaithful to them. In both cases, being unfaithful puts us ahead of those to whom we have promised to be devoted.
When we are married, we place ourselves under a covenant with God. We become devoted to those promises of the marriage covenant as prescribed by God. But to what is a husband and wife devoted? Thankfully, God has defined their roles: “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband” (Ephesians 5: 31-33). Paul is saying the relationship between a husband and wife is to reflect the relationship between Christ with the Church.
The husband is to be devoted to loving his wife and the wife is to be devoted to respecting her husband. When each spouse concentrates on his/her individual role, marriage works as God ordained it. When a marriage is not working or is weak, the full devotion of both parties needs to be strengthened. Even if one is weak and the other is stronger, the devotion of the one who is stronger makes the family and the marriage stronger. God tells us that the family is strengthened by just one believer (I Corinthians 7:14). His desire is to strengthen any marriage when He is Invited in through sincere prayer.
Prayer is a resource that not only allows us to put our love into action, it also changes us. As we are in communication with God, His Spirit gives us a deeper understanding of the purpose of marriage. And helps us perform our roles more perfectly. But we must engage Him in prayer specifically for His will in our marriage and family. Those who have good, strong marriages will have God involved in them. He is a family, and His principles of family governance are based on family members devoted to fulfilling their roles.
Devotion in marriage begins with prayer, however, when we pray, our perspective is very important. We must pray from a desire to effectively fulfill the role God ordained us as an individual. Not about the spouse. God helps those who want to improve their role in their marriage, who want to learn how to love or respect their mate as define by God. We need to ask how we can strengthen our role and not hinder our spouse’s growth. A desire for unity, oneness in mind, is important.
The secular world teaches us to be independent, to operate independently. Today, parents tell children they can be anything they want to be but fail to attach them to God and the family. God does desire us to be productive individuals and develop our personalities. But He desires our identity to be anchored in Him, in His Son, and in our relationships with one another: “I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit. . . . If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you” (John 15: 1,2,7). We need to be attached. The family needs to be attached.
We must all see ourselves as part of a collective unit. And that family needs to be connected to Jesus Christ and the Father, “that they all may be one, as You, Father, are in Me, and I in You; that they also may be one in Us, that the world may believe that You sent Me. And the glory which You gave Me I have given them, that they may be one just as We are one: I in them, and You in Me; that they may be made perfect in one…” (John 17:21-23).
Our personal family relationships need to be on the same level as God the Father is with Jesus Christ, and as Christ is with the Church, as one unit. That spiritual connection is in the human realm through a God ordained marriage. When a man and woman function as husband and wife they share the same mind, direction, and path — an identity based on their relationship with God. It means the husband understands his role and the wife understands her role and they apply both to reach the same goal.
Parents are also to teach their children to pray. This instills prayerful habits and knowledge that God exists. Our children are to operate knowing thereâs a God that ordained governing principles within a family: “Obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother,’ which is the first commandment with promise: ‘that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth”‘ (Ephesians 6:1-3). Parents should teach children to think and pray from the perspective of the family unit which will produce less self-centered behavior. Then, as children become older, their prayers drive their relationship with God. They become godly offspring: “. . . did He not make them one, Having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit, And let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth” (Malachi 2:15).
So, devotion to fulfilling marital roles begins with a devoted relationship with the God who created the marriage unit. He gives success to those who are devoted to His pathway to unity. There is just one path: Godly love and respect.
Bill Hutchison