The Proverbs 31 woman is powerful, dynamic, wise, enterprising, hardworking, hospitable, gracious, affectionate and capable. She is a magnetic character. She is in every way her husband’s equal, with the same potential to be a member of the God family. She will have glory, power and capacity. She obeys God in the role in which He placed her. She deploys all her creative power, all her capability as a help suitable for her husband and children (Proverbs 31:10-31). That’s what Christ does for God the Father and what the Church has been called to do for Christ as His Bride, – both personally and as a Church. Fulfilling all our roles do lead to peaceful relationships with God and neighbor. Satisfying and eternal relationships.
Addressing the concept of a woman’s role, particularly per biblical instruction, requires that we let go of all preconceived ideas. We need to understand the role of a wife from God’s point of view because it produces happiness. To properly understand “help meet” we need to define ‘meet’ which means proper, fitting, perfect, good, well-equipped. A help suitable to him. The Hebrew meaning includes the concept of strength, counterpart and sustainer beside him. So, a “help meet” is not just a body, it is a fitting match, a counterpart. It’s really about the purpose of this creation.
In the context of the church, which is to be the bride of Christ, His wife, the Church, is created as a helper, a suitable counterpart and strengthener to advance the purpose and intent of her husband, Christ.
[Christ] “is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation; Because by Him were all things created, the things in heaven and the things on earth, the visible and the invisible, whether they be thrones, or lordships, or principalities, or powers: all things were created by Him and for Him. And He is before all, and by Him all things subsist. And He is the Head of the body, the church; Who is the beginning, the firstborn from among the dead, so that in all things He Himself might hold the preeminence. For it pleased the Father that in Him all the fullness should dwell,” (Colossians 1: 15-19).
Christ was given dominion over creation first, before we existed. He and His Father expressly want children, an abundant household, and our companionship. We, the bride, are given to Christ by God the Father to help Christ fill up their creation with spiritual children (John 1: 12-13). This can be said very forcefully when speaking about Christ and the Church. It’s a little bit more delicate when we start talking about men and women.
Christ was equal to God yet He took a subordinate role (John 1.1,14). Women were created equal to men in capacity and potential, but they were put into the order of God’s creation with a subordinate, supportive role. “And also, the man was not created for the sake of the woman, but the woman for the sake of the man. For this reason, it is necessary for the woman to have a sign of being under authority on her head because of the angels. Nevertheless, neither is the man separate from the woman, nor the woman separate from the man in the Lord. For as the woman is of the man, so also the man is by the woman; but all things are of God.” (1 Corinthians 11:8-12).
Eve was made from Adam’s rib, yet men are born of women and come from their mothers. Men and women serve different purposes, and they find fulfillment in distinct ways. God’s way is antithetical to what this world teaches us. Mankind propagates marriage models which often turns roles upside down. Regardless of what culture we live in and what we are taught about marriage roles, the difficulty lies in the inherent selfish nature of all human beings.
God’s principles are given to us by Him who ordered life, who created life and He knows what works. It applies in marriages; it works in employer/employee relations, and it works in Church governance too.
Being in a position of responsibility, a husband has a burden, a weight. He is the target of all the complaints, all of the resistance, all of the challenges because the buck stops with him and he is expected to deliver solutions. For the wife in the subordinate role, the one without the ultimate responsibility, it is very difficult to self-regulate. The tendency is to push and pick and demand. And the husband doesn’t necessarily have all the answers. Wives have a choice: to be nagging and detrimental or encouraging and helpful.
“A woman of virtue is a crown to her husband, but she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones” (Proverbs 12:4). A wife is a gift to her husband from God. To be a joy. A helper. A pleasure. A strengthener. The Bible is replete with instructions and examples of good and bad wives: Sarah, Ruth, Abigail, Esther, and Jezebel. These are examples of what this role is and is not.
We can get stuck on this idea of submission in the Church. It’s such a narrow focus of what the wife’s role is. It helps to put the role of a wife in a new light of seeing Christ as our husband. We tend to want to willing submit and cooperate with Him. Because He is perfect! However, we need to apply this same willingness to our imperfect husbands as well. Be positive. Be a dynamic force: bright, fun, effective, enterprising, and practical in the shared work that you’re doing. The captain of the ship would want that dynamic, powerful first mate. And certainly, the Lord of the universe would want more than a subjugated bride.
Staff